Uh, not sure how this got published, we seem to have a breach in security here at Frugalwoods. I’ll just leave this here without further comment. -Mrs. Frugalwoods
Hello readers, Frugal Hound here. I know my humans think my only contribution to Frugalwoods is my photos, but I’m here to tell you that I’m not just another pretty face. Although I do have a very pretty face. My parents tell me so all the time!
I feel that I’ve been marginalized by this image-only presentation and I want the internet to know that I am a Hound of deep thoughts, or at least of some thoughts. I am especially embarrassed by the bath photos.
I know I’m not the only pet who is reduced to occasional mentions in blog posts and photos when it suits our owners to use us as cuteness propaganda. We are more than that. To combat this injustice, I’m starting a column in which I will interview my fellow internet pets. I asked Honey Badger to be my first interviewee but he said he don’t care. Therefore, I interviewed myself since all good artists start with introspection.
Frugal Hound Sniffs: Exclusive Interview Questions
1) Who are you? What are you? And who are your parent(s)?
I’m a greyhound named Frugal Hound and I live in Cambridge, MA with my parents Mr. and Mrs. Frugalwoods. They write the blog Frugalwoods and are mostly OK as parents except for the whole dressing me up in clothes for photos thing. Although I do like how sophisticated I look in this black turtleneck…
2) What frugal tips and tricks does your human use in your pet care regime?
My parents do all of my hound care themselves, which is so fun for them! They get to trim my nails, bathe me (see below for my thoughts on THAT), clean my ears, groom me with a mitt, brush my teeth (drool goes everywhere!) and walk me (no dog walkers or doggie day care for us!). I eat yummy food from Costco (grain free!) and I get to stay at friends’ houses for free instead of an expensive kennel when my parents go out of town.
3) Favorite treat?
My favorite food in the whole entire world is anchovy!! I get to eat a few when daddy cooks pasta puttanesca. It’s amazing. Mommy picks the bones out and lets me lick the fish oil off her fingers. YUM!
4) Favorite toy?
The best toy in the entire world is my red kitchen towel. I pulled it off the oven handle with my fangs the first week I was adopted. I then slobbered on it and ate a hole in it–I was so proud! Because I did such a great job procuring and decorating it, my parents let me keep it! Awesome! Now I drag it around the house with me, but because it’s so long, I sometimes step on it and get caught in an unintentional tug of war between my teeth and my feet, which I still to this day don’t know how to get myself out of. It’s delightful!
5) What’s the most expensive thing you’ve destroyed?
I licked a hole in my parents’ bedroom wall and totally nibbled the corner too! The brand new paint they used on their walls was just so tasty! I never liked the old paint, but wow this new paint is delish. The day after they finished painting, I went right to work. The hole got so big without my parents noticing that they had to create an entire Hound Corner to cover the holes just for me! They didn’t want to fix the hole because they figured I’d just destroy it again–and boy are they right. I’m such a lucky girl.
6) Most embarrassing moment?
I pooped in the Frugalwoods-mobile. I’m not embarrassed about it but my parents seem to be. At the time of the incident, daddy was driving down the interstate in a lot of heavy traffic so he couldn’t pull over. Mommy crawled into the back of the van and cleaned it up with some tissues. Daddy opened all the windows and they kept saying “stinky girl!” which I think is a cute new nickname! I have so many nicknames, like Lil’ Sniffer, Fang Face, and Houndbutt!
7) How often do you get a bath and would you say it’s too often?
I am bathed about twice a year and I feel that this is far too often. Just when I’ve accumulated the appropriate level of eau-de-greyhound, complete with greasy fur and hound dandruff, they throw me in the bathtub. The worst part is that mommy stands in the bath WITH me and massages oatmeal shampoo into my fur while daddy stands outside of the tub and pours water over my head. Water, fur, and hound shampoo get all over the place and mommy gets soaked. I think they have fun because they laugh a lot, but I do not appreciate it.
8) What is your family’s financial plan or goals and how do you contribute?
I myself retired from the greyhound racetrack at the age of 3. My parents, however, are taking the very long and slow route with plans to retire at age 33. We live in the city now, but my parents want to migrate to a rural homestead once they quit their 9-5’s. They wrote all about it here. Please ignore the photo of me eating my toy pig in that post. I most certainly did not rip the stuffing out and spread it all over the house.
My contribution to the family finances is my presence. I bring my parents great joy and entertainment. They say it’s soothing to pet me and they love taking me on walks and hikes. We also have dance parties at home together and play on our patio with a squeaky ball!
9) What is your best skill?
A great thing that I do is make new friends. For example, anytime someone comes to our house, I know that they are here just to see me. So, to make it easier on them, I push in between my parents and the friend so that I can sniff them both at the same time. I am good at helping people who are “not dog people” by standing exclusively next to them. I am a silent animal, so I just sort of lurk in their general vicinity and stare at them. My nose drips a lot and I make sure to angle my head so that the drips fall right on them! If my parents tell me to lay down, I act like I’ve been mortally wounded and flop onto my bed with a gigantic sigh. This helps the friends to know how silly my parents are for pulling me away from their side. I’ve made lots of friends!
10) BONUS QUESTION–ask and answer any question of your choice!
Are you a pet?
Do you have something to share with the internet? If so, answer my above Frugal Hound Sniffs: Exclusive Interview Questions and have your parents email them to my mommy: firstname.lastname@example.org (I can’t believe they won’t give me my own email account) and you’ll be featured in an upcoming issue! While I know we are more than just our images, please do send photos too.