Frugal Hound here. Welcome to the latest installment of my exclusive interview series, Frugal Hound Sniffs. This week I had the opportunity to sniff the Barefoot Barker from the Barefoot Budgeter. He is a charming little fellow who looks quite dapper in his mini-mustache collar. He did get rather fresh in the final question, but, I am an attractive lady. As well as a serious journalist. And so without further ado, please welcome the Barefoot Barker!
1) Who are you? What are you? And who are your parent(s)?
I’m the world’s most handsome dachshund, the Barefoot Barker. I live with my parents and my dachshund little sister in the Dirty South. My mom blogs over at the Barefoot Budgeter, but she never writes about squirrels or bones so I don’t really read it too often.
2) What frugal tips and tricks does your human use in your pet care regime?
My parents aren’t great about saving money on us. My sister goes to the groomer 4-5 times a year and they leave us at the pet lodge when they go places we can’t go. Dad says that he wishes he could leave us with friends, but he wants to still have friends when they get back. I think this is some sort of dig at me, but I don’t care. Haters gonna hate.
We do eat normal food and water instead of the caviar and Dom Perignon that I feel I deserve, so I guess they save money that way. And I haven’t gotten a new bow tie or collar in years.This is a shame, because I look so good in them. Oh, and I don’t wear shoes. That really helps the bottom line.
3) Favorite treat?
I love Starburst Jelly Beans. I only get one a year when the Easter Bunny hops by and that is not nearly enough. I bring my parents so much love and joy and they show their appreciation by giving me one a year? It’s not right. My mommy does occasionally make me popsicles and those are pretty good, but they’d be better if they were made out of jelly beans.
I also like to take bites out of my sister from time to time.
4) Favorite toy?
I’m not really allowed to have toys anymore. I used to play a really fun game where I’d time myself to see how quickly I could destroy gifts from mom and dad. Those fools once spent $20 on an indestructible toy and I had it in shreds in 10 minutes. My little sister has some stuffed animals that she sometimes lets me play with, but mostly I entertain myself by getting someone to chase me or by running laps around the house.
5) What’s the most expensive thing you’ve destroyed?
Oh, it’s so hard to pick just one. My list includes a computer cord, sunglasses, shoes, pants, a pair of dad’s cycling shorts, close to a million pairs of underwear, a bath mat, and most recently I chewed a small hole in the duvet cover. I think my parents might be some of those frugal types because they just flipped it over instead of buying a brand new one.
6) Most embarrassing moment?
First, let me say that I’m not embarrassed by this at all. My dad tells the story as the funniest thing I’ve ever done, so I think my mom is the only one embarrassed over it. A long, long time ago we lived in an apartment and had an old plaid couch. I got in trouble for something and I did not like that I got in trouble. I’m pretty sure I was probably innocent anyway. But to show my parents just how unhappy I was with them, I jumped on the back of the couch, locked eyes with Dad and peed all over the back of the couch. I won that fight.
7) How often do you get a bath and would you say it’s too often?
I cannot believe you would use the “b” word around me. Next question please.
8) What is your family’s financial plan or goals and how do you contribute?
Right now they are trying to get rid of something called student loan debt. I’m not sure what that is, but I know they spend a lot of money on that instead of buying me bones, so I know that they’re kind of dumb. After that they’ll try to reach financial independence so they can stay home with me and chase squirrels all day. That’s why people retire early, right?
I don’t have a lot of cash that I can contribute, but I give out unlimited cuddles. This helps with heating bills in the winter. Mom calls me her little space heater. I love to sit on her lap under the blanket and I don’t even charge her for it. That must be worth thousands, right?
9) What is your best skill?
That’s easy. Security. Nobody has ever broken into my house and kidnapped my parents. I’m so good we don’t even need ADT. Another way I save them money! Here’s a picture of my sister and me on Christmas Eve keeping an eye out for some fat guy with a beard that breaks into houses every year.
10) BONUS QUESTION–ask and answer any question of your choice!
I’m going to throw this question back to you, Frugal Hound. What’s your situation? You single, girl?
Thank you, Barefoot Barker. I am, in fact, single. However, I only have a penchant for other greyhounds as well as one dalmatian in our neighborhood. You are cute, Barefoot Barker, but I fear the height difference alone precludes romance.
Mrs. Frugalwoods here: Thank you to Autumn, the Barefoot Barker’s mom (who writes the awesome Barefoot Budgeter), for relaying this very important interview!
Are you a pet?
Do you have something to share with the internet? If so, answer my Frugal Hound Sniffs: Exclusive Interview Questions and have your parents email them to my mommy: email@example.com (I can’t believe they won’t give me my own email account) and you’ll be featured in an upcoming issue! While I know we are more than just our images, please do send photos too.